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me when i'm high

  • mom:hi
  • me:high
  • me:i mean hi
  • me:wait
  • mom:
  • me:
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draumstafir:

rogerrrs:

i wanna go for walks in the middle of the night but i also dont want to die ya feel

just girly things

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shikarius:

Dad’s gotten 1000% better talking about periods since we started using Shark Week euphemisms:

"Ah, it’s Shark Week?" = "Ah, you started your period?"

"Harpoons on deck?" = "Do you have enough pads/tampons/etc?"

"Chum stocks are holding?" = "Do you need chocolate/midol?"

"Supplies are low cap’n" = "Yes, please."

"What kind (of shark) is it?" = "How do you feel?"

  • "It’s a Nurse Shark" = "I’m fine/not bad"
  • "GREAT WHITE OFF THE STARBOARD BOW" = "FUCKING OW"
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